Last year, around my birthday, I felt like I was going through a mid-life crisis. I was so emotional. I felt like I should have been further ahead in my life, and I didn’t even know what I meant by that. I remember feeling like a failure because I hadn’t done a photoshoot for my birthday and didn’t have “professional pictures” to post on social media. And my husband asked me, “who said you need to have pictures done for your birthday?” But you know what I was doing? The comparison game!
A few friends I follow with birthdays around mine were all posting pictures and videos with cute birthday setups, and I felt like I needed to do that, too. Why? Because it felt like that’s what you do on your birthday since everyone else is doing it. And this wasn’t the first time I’d done this to myself. I get in my head about what I should be doing because I would see other people online doing things. And then I would feel like a failure and like I wasn’t good enough because I wasn’t doing what others were doing.
Last year, I shared a post with my paid subscribers discussing how I was letting social media dictate my life. This past year, I had to make changes in my life, which led to a social media fast. It was initially supposed to last 40 days, but it ended up being almost the whole year. I was focused on myself, on bettering myself physically, mentally, and emotionally.
This year, around my birthday, I felt so much better emotionally. I actually looked forward to my birthday and wedding anniversary because I felt more emotionally stable. Therapy has also helped me get to the root of why I was constantly comparing myself to others, and now, I’m working on the messages I tell myself.
I’ve written before about the health journey I’ve been on, and honestly, I’m so proud of myself for doing the hard work instead of sulking and having a pity party in my emotions. I posted on my Instagram yesterday about how I finished P90x, and I’m finally learning to accept my body. All of this is rooted in the same childhood trauma I’ve learned in therapy.
Let me wrap this up by sharing these two points:
If you put in the necessary work, your life can look completely different a year from now. Will it be easy? No, because nothing in life worth having is easy. But will the necessary work be worth it? Absolutely. You’ll feel better emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
Be kind to yourself and others. We are our worst critics. Before, I would post a picture and point out all of my flaws to myself, but I would receive comments about how beautiful the picture is. However, none of the comments mattered because I didn’t see beautiful; my eyes saw something else. When we aren’t happy with ourselves, we aren’t kind to ourselves, and then we aren’t kind to others. When people say unkind things to others, it’s because they are hurting inside. So, always be kind to yourself so you can be kind to others because everyone is battling an emotional or mental challenge they may not discuss.
As always, I share in the hope of encouraging others because we are all a work in progress, and we can always become 1% better than we were the day before.
With Love, Heidy
P.S. Into My Thoughts turned two on February 6th, and I completely missed the anniversary! Thank you so much for being here and reading my thoughts for the past two years!!! :)