Not Everyone Is Called to Be Married.
Shocking I Know!
The church does a great job of pushing marriage, promoting marriage, and making it seem that marriage is the ultimate goal. However, I feel we need to talk about the fact that not everyone has marriage written in their life purpose. Not everyone will get married, and that’s okay!
Everyone has a purpose, a reason for being here, and people are called to do different things. Some are called to be leaders; some are called to be writers; some are called to be speakers etc. Some people are called to be married, and some just aren’t. Think of it like God has called some women to be mothers, and unfortunately, some aren’t. I believe it’s the same for marriage.
Now, I know you may think it’s easy for me to write this because I am married, so I don’t know what it feels like to be longing to be married, and I am getting impatient because I’m not finding my husband. But let me tell you that I didn’t know I was called to be married.
I was never the little girl who dreamt of her wedding, and when I got married the first time, it was because I felt like it was the “right thing to do.” And after that marriage destroyed me, I never thought I would get married again. I felt like marriage wasn’t written in my story, and I had ultimately come to terms with that. I was okay with my life being just me and my daughter.
The best example of ‘not everyone is called for marriage’ is Jesus. His calling was much more significant, to die for our sins, but he never was married.
There is a podcast episode that talks a little bit about this – which I think is a great listen. It’s The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey, episode 569 – Jamie and her husband provide four tips to have a healthy view of marriage, but before they dive into the tips, they always start the conversation of marriage by saying that they believe not everyone will be called to be married. And I loved that! Because marriage, especially in Christian spaces, is really idolized.
In Genesis 2:18 (NIV), God says, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” And then Eve was created; however, for those who are not called to be married, there are other ways to connect with others without being in a romantic relationship.
In the same podcast show, in episode 575 – Jamie’s guest Kendall Vanderslice mentions how she has a group of friends with whom she shares her life and has a community around her that fulfills her. I thought that was amazing – I love how God has provided her with that community to share important aspects of her life.
God uses people in different ways for their purpose. I encourage you to draw closer to Him, build a deep relationship with Him, and He will guide your steps.
With Love, Heidy
What are your thoughts?