Are You Afraid of Saying, “I Don’t Know”
If So, Why Is That?
The Bible study “Create in Me a Heart of Wisdom” by (In) Courage is a great resource to learn more about wisdom. I’m sure I’ve written about it before because a lot of the material in there prompted me to write a few of my posts, and today, I want to ask you to think about this - are you afraid of saying, “I don’t know?” And if so, why are you afraid of admitting you don’t know something?
Ask yourself:
Is it because I’m afraid of looking foolish?
Is it because I grew up thinking that I was stupid for not knowing something?
Did I get picked on at school if I didn’t know something?
Or are you trying to live life pretending that you’re a know-it-all?
Be honest with yourself. You don’t have to tell me or leave a comment, but be honest with yourself.
Because I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to say, “I don’t know.”
On week six, day two of this six-week study, writer Grace P. Cho wrote this:
The irony of becoming wiser is that as we understand more, we sometimes know less. The phrase “I don’t know” is not a sign of weakness, ignorance, or stupidity. Instead, it can be a powerful acknowledgment of our limitations and our desires to humbly learn from others. Anytime we don’t know what to say or do, we have an opportunity to point ourselves and others to the ultimate source of wisdom: God Himself.
She also shares that she’s felt pressure to always have the correct answer or a piece of wise advice as a leader, mentor, and parent. I know when I was in leadership before, I felt that pressure too, but then I realized that it’s actually better to be honest and say you don’t know and try to find the answer. Whether it was asking upper management or another colleague or doing research to try to find the answer. My team appreciated my honesty better than my trying to pretend I knew all the answers and provided bogus answers that weren’t going to benefit anyone. I also appreciated my leaders when they would do the same.
When it comes to parenting, I tell my daughter, “I don’t know” all the time! We then usually end up asking Alexa the questions and learning something together. I’m not going to lie to my daughter or pretend that I know all the answers because I don’t. Sometimes, I don’t know how to properly explain something, and I need help to say it in a way she would understand—she’s ten, almost eleven, by the way.
Still, on the topic of parenting, Grace wrote:
When I began struggling with how to explain difficult life circumstances to my children, I realized that “I don’t know” can suffice. “I don’t know” can bring us to the same place of learning, curiosity, vulnerability, and growth. Whether with my children, my mentees, or even for myself, that understanding freed me from the unrealistic expectations that I should know better because I’m older, more educated, or further along in my faith journey.
As I guide my clients through the journey of launching their podcasts, sometimes questions come up that I don’t know the answers to and that I do have to find answers to for them and myself. So, I’m consistently learning. And as I learn, I love to share knowledge with others.
I’ve become very comfortable with admitting when I do not know something. It has also helped feed my natural curiosity, so I’m consistently learning.
So, to wrap this up, I want you to ask yourself: Am I afraid of saying, “I don’t know”? If so, try to figure out why.
Because sometimes saying, “I don’t know,” is the wisest thing you can say.
With Love, Heidy
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