How Was Rest Mirrored for You?
My therapist asked this question during one of our sessions. I cannot remember what the topic was, but I remember this question, and it made me reflect on how I didn’t see the adults around me resting growing up. First, let’s define resting in this concept because everyone has a different definition of resting, and I’ve learned that resting looks different for everyone.
When I googled define rest - this is what came up:
Self-care is another word for rest because when you practice self-care, you are technically resting, taking a break from your daily routine, taking care of yourself, and recharging.
So, how was rest mirrored to me? As I stated above, I don’t feel like it was. Let me explain. Throughout my childhood, I lived first with my mom, then my dad and grandma, and then once my dad remarried, my dad and stepmom.
While living with my mom, I remember that she worked at a factory and had to be there very early. She would take me to a friend's house; from there, another lady would take me to school. But it was not just me; there were other kids she would transport to school, too. My mom would pick me up in the afternoons. I remember my mom being on the phone a lot - probably talking with friends or family members. I’m unsure, but this could have been her way of resting.
While living with my dad and my grandma, I didn’t see rest. My dad worked the third and then second shifts at a factory. He also had two other jobs. For as long as I can remember, as a child, my dad was always working multiple jobs. He would take me to school in the mornings right after getting home from work, and I would walk home in the afternoons.
On the other hand, my grandma also worked at a factory - during the weekdays, and then on the weekends, she was baking cakes for events. Whether it was a Quince, Wedding, Baptism, birthday party, graduation, etc - she was baking. If she wasn’t baking, she was cooking, or cleaning, or shopping. I think shopping was her rest time.
And when my dad remarried, my stepmom worked the second shift and eventually changed to first. My parents would watch TV together in the evenings, so that was their rest, I’m assuming. But talking about rest or being intentional about resting, I didn’t see that mirrored growing up. So, when my therapist asked me that - I connected with always feeling like I have to be doing something. I feel like I’m wasting the day when I'm not doing something.
What does rest look like for me?
Throughout the years, I’ve gotten better at not feeling like I always need to be doing something. I’ve worked on having rest days (especially after being burnt out) and doing things that recharge me or not doing anything at all if that’s what my body is asking. I’ve also learned to listen to my body.
Rest for me looks like:
Reading
Watching TV (Something funny, usually)
Listening to podcasts
Getting my nails done
Journaling
Writing
Napping
Exercise
Exercising is the newest one! I started my health journey this year, and since January, I’ve been consistently working out. It started with just walking a mile a day, and now I am walking/jogging, jump roping, and following an exercise routine. And I’ve realized that I feel better and recharged after I exercise.
And because my job is mentally draining (I have to do a lot of research) - moving my body and not thinking while I’m exercising is helpful to me.
What does rest look like for others?
As always, I love getting feedback and responses from others, so I asked my friends on Facebook to share what does rest looks like for them. This looks different for everyone because every body needs something different to recharge.
Here are some of the responses:
“I am learning to rest. I feel like there’s always so much to do, but despite my efforts, the To-do list has never been completed. More things are always added on but never done.”
“Naps when I can, even if 15 minutes lol. On stressful days off, I take long showers to get some me time; if I need my mind to get quiet, I will do some diamond painting and try to have one day that I mostly stay home just watching TV as much as I can like watching something funny on TV.”
“I rest by taking naps when I can, sitting in the car quietly, being alone with no one in sight, or lying in bed quietly with headphones on, listening to worship or nature sounds. The darker the room, the better. I also enjoy journaling to help with the stress.”
“We get to rest?!?” LOL Yes, we do get to rest!! We should rest :)
“Read!”
“Still trying to figure out how”—and that’s okay—it took me a while, too.
“Respite to me is getting still before Jesus. Generally, I take myself on a retreat. Where I pray, practice stillness & self-care.” Retreats are a great form of rest, but sometimes even from the retreat, you’ll need to recharge; it’s happened to me.
“Rest for me is watching my favorite shows, sit and read, quietly drinking my coffee; no chores day means one day a week I don’t do chores (no cooking, etc), go on a walk or Target, nap (rarely though). Rest it’s like my me time. I have a schedule of what I’m doing daily. If I cannot get it done, it’s fine. I will do it when I can during that week, though.”
“Rest for me looks different depending on what I need to recharge. But on a daily basis, rest means getting to bed on time so that I get adequate sleep. Sometimes, rest looks like watching a comfort show that I have seen 100 times. Sometimes, it means sitting outside with a book. Sometimes, it means spending a few days by myself doing whatever I wanna do.”
“Generally going to bed on time or unplugging an hour before bed to just read, watch TV, or sit outside on the balcony. Sundays tend to be my rest and reset days where I do all my laundry and chores in the morning, so by afternoon, I tell myself that “it’s okay to do absolutely nothing today”. I think most times we don’t rest adequately because we are constantly telling ourselves that “there’s so much I need to do” or “I’m lazy if I just rest.” It’s like we guilt trip ourselves out of something that’s so essential for our health.”
Oooo, the guilt trip we give ourselves is big, or we feel like we need to ‘earn rest’ - no, we don’t need to earn anything; it’s so beneficial for our health, we need to prioritize rest!
“Netflix. Put on a show or movie and wind down with some food after a whole day of work—power Naps. I always took them since high school prior to exam studying. Chores at home or business things nowadays before I grab the kids from school.”
“Bath and a book.”
“In silence. Alone. Lately, I’ve noticed that I rest better when my husband is out of the home with errands or plans, etc. He doesn’t stop me from being alone in the room, but even knowing he’s in the same house puts me under subconscious pressure to be with him or be productive. I don’t want any pressure from anything that might be expected of me lol. Give me 12 hours to be a scum bum in my bed; then I’ll shoot up with energy for productivity after I promise.”
“Rest: It is a time to do something that doesn’t cross off a checklist. The time to nurture my spirit, a space to disconnect from the outer world to connect with my inner world. Rest created the space to doing things that fuel my soul. Sometimes it means to do absolutely nothing; other times, it means sleeping in reading a book, and other times, it has meant a time to clean (side note: I love cleaning) my home while blasting music from worship to Shakira. It is time free from deadlines, rushing, or expectations. Lately, it has being home and just enjoying being home without the pressure of having to be somewhere or do something. I have been able to be home with my loved ones and be present. The things that I have being doing are things that I have done because I want to do, not because I needed to do them. I have felt refreshed, renewed, calm, and present. Rest in this season has made me value Sabbath and why God has called us to practice it. It has filled my contentment tank and liberated me from the busyness.”
This is such a beautiful answer and reminder that God rested after creating the Earth, and Jesus rested as well. We are called to rest—we need rest. Please remember to prioritize rest!
So share with me what does rest look like for you.
With Love, Heidy
P.S. If you need a copywriter for writing services or are looking to launch a podcast – let’s get in touch; I want to create with you!
https://stan.store/heidydelacruz
Check out previous posts here: