Why Do Enneagram Sixes Doubt Themselves?
This is One of My Biggest Struggles
I’m back talking about my enneagram number because I’ve recently struggled with making two decisions—a trait of the sixes. One of the decisions was whether or not to make a podcast a weekly show for 2025. The other decision was, if I were to make my podcast a weekly show, what other projects or tasks would I stop to have time for a weekly show?
I am sharing this struggle in case anyone else out there struggles with making decisions. Please know you are not alone.
To understand why this is such a struggle for me, you must understand the enneagram six. Typically, sixes are reliable, hard-working, trustworthy, and loyal (which is why we are called loyalists). However, we are cautious and indecisive. Our indecisiveness stems from our biggest fear of being without guidance and support. Our biggest desire is to be supported and have security.
Not only do I go back and forth in making decisions, but I also rely heavily on other people’s opinions and thoughts. Sometimes, I’ll ask multiple people; if I notice a common answer, that’s my validation for the decision. However, I should be confident enough in myself to decide and not go back and forth.
According to the Enneagram Institute: “Thus, the central issue for type Six is a failure of self-confidence. Sixes come to believe that they do not possess the internal resources to handle life’s challenges and vagaries alone, and so increasingly rely on structures, allies, beliefs, and support outside themselves for guidance to survive.”
I am trying to work on my indecisiveness, but understanding why I am like this is helpful. It wasn’t until I learned about the enneagram that I could put a name to this struggle. Before, I thought it was a flaw I had, and I had not met someone else who struggled to make decisions to the extent I did.
In preparation for this newsletter post, I asked ChatGPT to provide some tips for Enneagram Sixes to overcome self-doubt, and it gave these:
Develop Self-Trust
Practice Decision-Making: Start with small, low-stakes decisions to build confidence in your judgment.
Reflect on Past Successes: Keep a journal of times you made good choices and revisit when self-doubt arises.
Challenge Negative Thoughts
Identify Doubt Triggers: Pay attention to recurring situations or thoughts that lead to self-doubt.
Positive Affirmations: Replace negative thoughts with affirmations like, “I can trust my inner wisdom.”
Seek Balance in External Validation
Limit Over-Reliance on Reassurance: It’s okay to seek support, but practice making decisions without excessive external input. (This is my biggest challenge.)
Find Supportive Relationships: Surround yourself with people who encourage self-reliance instead of feeding insecurities.
Take Incremental Risks
Step Out of Your Comfort Zone: Challenge yourself with small risks to build tolerance for uncertainty.
Learn From Mistakes: Reframe setbacks as opportunities for growth rather than failures.
Focus on Strength
Acknowledge Your Gifts: Sixes are loyal, hardworking, and insightful. Recognizing these qualities can boost confidence.
Celebrate Wins: Make a habit of celebrating personal achievements, no matter how small. (I definitely do this!)
The last tip is to learn more about my Enneagram type. If you have any suggestions for books about the Enneagram, please message me or leave them in the comments. Thank you.
Lastly, I’ll wrap this up by telling you what I decided to do with my podcast and how I decided. I did decide to move my podcast from a bi-weekly schedule to a weekly one. One - I spoke with multiple people, and they all mentioned the same thing my husband initially said - that it’s not a bad thing that I have so many episodes ready to go (I’m at over 30 episodes and counting). Secondly, I spoke with my business coach, who confirmed the same. Lastly, I attended a podcasting webinar about mistakes that podcasters make that hinder growth, and one of the mistakes was not publishing every week. Now, this was confirmation for me because I was looking for an answer, but as a podcast coach who helps people launch, I sincerely believe when starting a podcast, one should choose a publishing schedule that works for them and helps them stay consistent. But that’s a whole different topic.
To make room in my schedule for next year to have my podcast on a weekly schedule, I decided to stop the internship I was a part of and limit the number of coaching clients I am able to take on.
These were hard decisions to make, but I do understand that although I’m an overachiever (trauma response) and I want to do EVERYTHING - I am only human and cannot do everything. Let’s see how sticking to these decisions goes! Wish me luck! :)
With Love, Heidy